


How to Mate Your Cyborg

by winter_of_entropy



Category: Hawkeye - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Clueless Bucky is Clueless, James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton - Freeform, M/M, Meet-Cute, TW: Fluff and Nonsense!, Very Good Dogs, coffee shop AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-09-30 22:09:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10173422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winter_of_entropy/pseuds/winter_of_entropy
Summary: Bucky and Hagrid spend every Tuesday and Thursday morning at the Midnight Roast, studying and sampling Wade's questionable baked goods.  And maybe pining over Wade's Other Favorite Cyborg.  BTW, Wade totally ships it, guys.





	

The Midnight Roast smelled like heaven at 5am. The roasters were cooling off and the fumes from the fresh beans were giving Bucky a contact high. Wade was pulling the first batch of whatever his weirdness of the day was from out of the ovens, and the muffins (the nice, normal blueberry and chocolate chip muffins!) were going in. Nat was holding the door for Bucky and Hagrid.

“You boys are early.”

“Couldn’t sleep.” Bucky knelt down with a hand towel from his backpack. Hagrid gravely offered each paw in turn, licking Bucky’s face as he dried the salt and melted snow from his feet. “So we decided we needed coffee.”

“Hagrid drinks coffee?” she was amused as she slipped behind the counter.

“Hagrid drinks water. I need coffee. And a muffin.”

“No muffins yet! But we have Wade’s Wonderful Pumpkin Sparkle Sconage!” Wade popped up out of nowhere, earning him a side-eye from the Newfie. Hagrid carefully sat himself down between Wade and Bucky. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Wade, but Wade was loud and excitable and sometimes seemed to overwhelm his person. Wade was really good at power-buffing the ears though. Hagrid could forgive a lot for a good ear skritch.

“It’s January. Isn’t it late for Pumpkin Spice?”

“Pumpkin SPARKLE.” Wade corrected. “It’s a Pumpkin Scone with Crystallized Ginger and Candied Orange Peel on the top. That’s where the sparkle comes from! There’s no cinnamon or nutmeg at all.”

Nat and Bucky looked at him in astonishment. Wade’s scones tended to the wild and crazy. Some of them were amazing. The Dark Chocolate Chipotle Wonders should have been terrifying, but were a campus favorite and an exam week special. But the Apricot Tomato Teasers had a very short career on the menu. Pumpkin Sparkle sounded like it might be edible. It might even surpass merely edible and go into “good eats” territory.

“I’ll take two and the usual” Bucky. Wade beamed and lunged over the counter to give him a smacking kiss on the cheek. 

“You’re my favorite cyborg!” he declared, as Nat pulled down Bucky’s Americano. Wade slapped them all on a tray and slid them across the counter. 

“I’m your only cyborg. Also, I don’t think you can just claim people like that.” 

“Au contraire my friend! I can find and keep as many people as I want, as long as I don’t like, chain them up in my basement or anything. Unless they like that sort of thing. In which case, it’s okay. But anyway, you haven’t met Mr. Arms yet.”

“He has a cyborg arm too?”

“Nope, you have to guess his cyborg-ness when you meet him. You’ll never guess!”

Bucky dropped a few dollars in the tip jar and then wandered over to his usual table. Hagrid sprawled under the table with his head on Bucky’s feet and went to sleep. He nibbled on the first scone while he leafed through his Palladio biography. It was early to start on his spring term paper, but he’d rather start now in case his traitorous brain decided to take a powder later in the semester. He just hated it when that happened.

The morning rush picked up as he started scribbling in the margins of his biography. Darcy, the second barista, came in and took over the register as Nat started wiping tables. Wade was doing some sort of bar towel semaphore (or interpretive dance, it could go either way) behind the espresso machine. Bucky ducked his head down further into the book. Nat sighed as she wandered closer.

“You might as well take a look; he’s not going to stop until you do.” 

“I was hoping he’d take a hint before people start staring.”

“Nope, they’re already staring. He just wants you to take a look at Mr. Arms.”

Bucky took a quick glance down the line. And then a second glance. At the third glance, he put down his highlighter and because hot damn, Wade could be onto something here. Mr. Arms could only be the third guy in line. He was a bit shorter than himself, sandy blond with broad shoulders, and lifetime tickets to the gun show. He pulled off his ragged hoodie as he waited to give his order. His Dog Cops T shirt had the arms ripped off and his faded jeans hugged his burt like like a lover. Wade high-fived himself behind the counter as Hagrid sat up and looked too, responding to his person’s body language.

Nat started laughing. “That’s Clint Barton, Wade’s other favorite cyborg. And here you are all alone at a 4 top. You should share.” she informed him.

“Um, right, I better be going now. I have a class at 10.” He gathered his books and headed for the door, before any of his coffee minions could go crazy and introduce them.

“He does know it’s only 830, right?l” was all Wade said when Nat got back to counter.

 

Sadly, this became Bucky’s new morning routine. Wake up too early, stumble to the coffee shop, study til 9 am, and then head to class. Tuesdays and Thursdays were the worst, because he got to watch an hour of the Clint and Wade show. Clint generally wandered in about 8 am, flirted with Nat, goofed around with Wade and then headed off to his own classes. Bucky tried not to be a creeper, he really did, but his only other choices were to find a new coffee shop or actually ask for Clint’s phone number. And he hated to admit it, but Wade’s baked good were actually pretty good most of the time. 

One bright spring morning in early March, Bucky and Hagrid came in at a slightly more reasonable hour. Which was good because it meant he actually slept the previous night, but bad, because it was more crowded than when he usually came in, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to share a table.

“Hagrid!” Wade shouted from the oven as they came in just after 8. “And you brought your Bucky! Thanks man!” 

“I’m so sorry for him” Nat apologized as she rang up his coffee. 

Wade popped out of the kitchen with a fresh tray of cookies. “Today we have cookies. I’ve got Caramel Apple Crumbles for humans and Peanut Butter Oatmeal for Hagrids.” Hagrid boofed softly at the sound of his name. “Can I give your human a cookie, Hagrid?”

“You can give us each two, please.” Bucky tried not to look amused at Wade’s antics, but his irrepressible good humor was contagious.

Wade beamed as he plated the treats and added them to Bucky’s tray. “We get a lot of service dogs coming in, so I decided we needed to have cookies for them too. I did all the research and made sure there’s nothing bad for him in them. It’s mostly peanut butter, eggs, oatmeal and brewer’s yeast.”

“Um thanks.” Wade shimmied along to Beyonce on the radio as he led them to a free table. Bucky tried not to compare his butt to Clint’s superior behind. “I get table service now?”

“Nooooo, HAGRID gets table service.” Wade corrected him with a side eye, “since he has no thumbs and all that. It’s hard for him to carry his tray. You’re just along for the ride.”

A few minutes later, Mr. Arms, er Clint, came in, and Bucky indulged in his new favorite early morning pastime of watching him flirt his way through the staff.. Nat was back on register, laughing along as Wade wiped down the tables in the near vicinity. When Mr. Arms turned to find a seat, Wade gave him a big grin and a wave.

“Yo, Clint, c’mon over and meet Hagrid. Hagrid, this is Clint Barton. Clint, this is Hagrid and his human Bucky.” Bucky’s face was flaming as Clint cracked up.

“It’s nice to meet you Hagrid, and your human too,” He looked over at Bucky, hazel eyes twinkling as he laughed at Wade. Apparently it’d been a late night or an early morning. There was still smudged eyeliner around his eyes which only accentuated his bed head and t shirt. Today’s T shirt proudly proclaimed “I do my own stunts.”

“Um, hi.” Bucky offered his hand. Clint didn’t even flinch at the robot hand, just shook it gently.

“Is it okay to pet him? I know I’m not exactly supposed to socialize with him when he’s working, but we were just introduced. I’d hate to be rude.”

“Yeah it’s fine. Hagrid, break time.”

Hagrid swarmed out from under the table to accept ear skritches, and then returned to put his head on Bucky’s feet. 

“Had him long?” Was he flirting? Bucky was pretty sure he was flirting... That is what flirting looks like, right?

“Just a year or so, after I got out of the Army.”

“I have one too. Well, sort of. Lucky actually failed out of his training program. He learned all the commands, but he kind of does them whenever he wants to. Instead of when he’s actually asked to. So now he’s just my dog, but he helps out when he can.” 

“Why do you need help?” he blurted out, and then groaned “Ignore me, that’s rude, I know better. Really I do.”

“No biggie, I’m mostly deaf. I bring Lucky sometimes when my ears are too sore for my ears.” Clint turned his head slightly so that Bucky could see the tiny purple units.

“I guess that makes you Wade’s other favorite cyborg then.” 

“I keep telling him I’m not a cyborg! I can take mine off if I want to.” He blushed as he realized what he said “OhMyGod, forget I said that. That came out so wrong.”

Bucky chuckled softly. “It’s cool. Mine actually is removable if it needs to be, but it’s not necessary.”

Wade was doing some sort of weird one act play behind Clint, miming drawing back a chair and sipping coffee with exaggerated movements. Finally Nat pulled out a legal pad and wrote “ASK HIM TO SIT DOWN” in big letters, flashing it at him behind the register.

“Um, would you like to have a seat?” Bucky stumbled through the phrase. He didn’t used to be so bad at this!

“I thought you’d never ask.” Clint beamed as he pulled out a chair. 

“Wait, what?” Bucky tried not to look confused, but it was really hard when his crush was sitting opposite with a big grin on his face.

“Dude, you’ve been coming in all semester, hanging out in the corner with Hagrid and being all moody and gorgeous at me. I thought you’d never ask. So you’re at the University too? What’s your major?”

 

“You owe me 20 bucks, Nat.” Wade sighed as he watched Bucky and Clint study together in the corner. For certain qualities of the word “study”. In reality, Clint was drawing bows and arrows all over Bucky’s rough draft and slipping Lucky and Hagrid bites of Peanut Butter Paws as Bucky proofread his term paper. 

“I owe you nothing, Wade.” Nat was cooly reading a Russian novel behind the register.

“Dude, I got them together!” 

“No, you got them to the same table, I’m the one who got them to sit down and talk. Also I thought I told you never to call me dude.” She gave him a look that would have frozen lesser men. It had no effect on Wade.

“I introduced them! That has to count for something!”

“You tried to seduce Hagrid with Peanut Butter Paws and used Clint as a distraction so you could make off with him.”

“He’s a Very Good Dog.. He deserves all the cookies.”

“You do make a good point. I’ll give you 10.”

Bucky and Clint had dropped all pretense of studying and appeared to auditioning for a cheesy Manga, just smiling dreamily at each other. Lucky had rolled over to use Hagrid for a pillow. They were the epitome of True Love as they glowed in the sunlight streaming in the window.

“Do you think they’ll let me make the wedding cake?” Wade asked wistfully.

Nat just rolled her eyes and started planning her next matchmaking conquest. Her TA in History was pretending to work on a paper, but she knew he was really cruising a comic book forum, ban hammering the fuckboys into submission. He was totally oblivious to the weedy little artist with the purple hair who was mooning over him in the corner. Wade followed her gaze and grinned. 

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my fic! I went for the fluff angle, which is a switch for me. Usually I'm Ms. Angsty McAngstalot. ;) But anyway, have some sweet and fluffy Coffee Shop AU. My fabulous artist should be posting soon. ;)
> 
> The lovely Fitzz106 has added the artwork! [Ear Skritches for a Very Good Dog](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10174379) Be sure to give her lots of love!


End file.
